So here goes my first short thought. 

When I look at the world- I see bodies of people and aside from the minimal amount who create their own either incredible or horrific moral code the majority of them live by what society has set out for them; they are born, they are raised, they get an education, then they try find work and then they slave away at whatever job(s) they find for the rest of their lives encircled by the various relationships they form. 

So- what I thought about tonight was what would happen if individuals decided to completely reshape this majority-based moral code and live life in a completely reshaped way... think of it like this: you are born, you then get a general education for a few years (exploring all areas of careers and life) until they finally decide on their choice of careers- not for money, not for status, not to impress, not to live by someone else's expectations of you... but a career that makes you glad to be alive and happy for most/all of your life?

Imagine what a remarkably amazing way to live that would be. So, as I was thinking of personally what I believe to be a glorious way to live I thought about what it would be like to live in this way and what I would do... and so:

I'd be born (nothing would change family wise), I would get my basic education and most definitely find myself being interested in photography, writing, singing and acting- a lot of things but thats just a personal thing... I guess each does a different thing for me and a different part of me excels and benefits. I would take photos of interesting, intriguing and beautiful people all over the world whilst travelling with my beautiful boyfriend and dearest friends and family... I would write about everything I do on here and more as I matured and explored further areas of life and knowledge in general, I would sing and write songs about everything I love and hate at concerts performing in huge arenas filled with strangers (for some reason thats less scary for me) and I would act in movies and series getting to be a different character and have various part-time lives. 

Obviously this isn't realistic based on time constraints, balancing things and general life buuut you know what I mean- someone realises they love baking at a young age and instead of slaving away at 18 at science and math they go to cooking school young and excel in something they're good at, waking up every day loving their life because they love what they're doing. 

It just makes more sense to me- that each individual in this mad, crazy, huge world should cultivate what they specifically love and are good at with the absence of money or status in mind and live a life they love. 

I don't know... I'm probably just dreamy due to my lack of sleep.
Let me know what YOU would do if money(etc) didn't matter?

(Oh and while I was writing this I was drinking warm milk with honey and if you haven't already...TRY it.)

Hello! 

[So... the aim of this message is to prove my existence and tell anyone who is interested that I'm back to writing A Piece of Zoe. 

When I started this blog, my aim was to write constant, long, essay-type pieces based on around a number of topics I'd always felt (and continue to feel) strongly about. 

Somehow it seems I had more time or at least gave myself more time; I used to sit and get stuck in one of my pieces for days but then for some reason- I never checked my writings after sharing them (note the spelling mistakes and parts that make no sense...) and this is what I like to call the spontaneous-writer in me; the writer I believe I am- one who gets in a thought in their mind and writes it down the just way it was thought up. 

SO, basically what I'm trying to get at is I was finding it hard not only to find the time to write long pieces but also to distribute complex thoughts at such a rapid pace and so I've decided to embrace the spontaneity in my writing through shorter, more constant thoughts... as well as pictures and anything else I gather along the way.]

Personal

Today I was thinking deeply around the subject of WEIGHT. I couldn't stop thinking about how much of an impact it has on our society, our views of what perfect are and how we want ourselves to be. I remember my first encounters with food, I was only a little one when I had my first sun dried tomatoe- my mom and dad didn't believe in baby food so they decided to feed me like a mini adult and considering my dad was a French chef... that meant Mini Gourmet too. I used to sneak into the kitchen late at night in my little puppy slippers and grab a piece of bread and some brie cheese from the fridge. I loved food from the start... and thats the truth.

To be honest for the first 10 years of my life it didn't matter to me at all- I was so happy being fat, I ate what I wanted and was happy. But as soon as miraculously I lost all my puppy fat, I started caring and comparing- caring about what I looked like and what size my jeans were and comparing myself to girls all over; on the tv, on the cover of the magazines, to my friends, to girls I saw in the street. And with this came sadness when I wasn't like my comparisons and a feeling of unworthiness when I gained a few kilos. How terrible is that? have you thought about that?! that we are labeled, judged and in desire of our bodies size. But you know what- thats not going to change, its how our society has ended up being. I care, you care, MOST care. I hope it'll change one day because there are people non like the people that are naturally skinny who can't lose weight quickly, don't want to lose weight at all or who have difficulties within their bodies that designable them from doing so. But, I don't think it will. 

7 Billion Possible Soul-Mates

Hi! 

This is the first time I've written in months. 

But I'm going to re-grab you with a simple, few-lined story...

The other night I was out for friends for dinner at the Bombay Bicycle Club (if you haven't tried it, go!) and as I was looming outside waiting for my friend to pick me up as I was leaving I overheard (something I've realised I'm very good at) a conversation being had at an outside table nearby. 

"You're wrong... you can't just state at the age of 22 that the world is fucked up"

"Sure I can, I've lived 22 whole years in it- I think thats enough time to realise the status of things" (she laughed) 

I mean... how could something like that NOT draw you? so I, Zoe, being the nosy shit that I am took a few steps closer to the table, smiled and gave my opinion (whilst apologising to be a nosy shit). This ended up being a 15 minute laughing session/heated debate-

with total strangers? I left that night (whilst driving home in a taxi as my lift had left) feeling (as cliché

 as this may sound) absolutely enriched and wished we could have continued talking for another few hours. 

Anyways, what this amongst many of my pointless mini-stories made me think of is how many billions of people there are in this world that I haven't met and how frustrated that makes me. We each have our own individual opinions, aesthetic exteriors and emotional and academic knowledge and usually only get the chance to share them an immensely limited amount of people. 

Personally I've decided to pretend its not weird for me in the future to go up to random people speaking about topics that interest me. I think that way I'll feel like I'm defying the terrible fact that our friend/romantic soul mates are all around us, and far and we aren't interacting.

READ THIS

Its daily pictures and their captions are so wonderful (sometimes humorous or sweet, sometimes heart-wrenching and sometimes just interesting as hell). 

https://www.facebook.com/humansofnewyork

I'll be writing again soon. 

x Zo

Hi again. 

To those of you who read this ol' thing, worry not- I'm not going through another one of my phases, I'd merely been writing exams but I'm back.  

La Dolce Far Niente [the delight in doing nothing] - Italian

In previous years my December holidays have been spent in cities, engulfed by the busy city life and without exception I would end my holidays feeling like I needed another. 
This December holiday I have been in Plettenberg bay; my day consisting of waking up, making breakfast, tanning for hours (whilst listening to music- list below) and then in the evening sitting around and chatting with friends. I can already feel like I'm properly holiday-ing and time feels like its actually at the pace I want it to be at rather than a rushed race. 
The importance in relaxing.

I will be writing another few posts during the course of the next two weeks.
In the meanwhile, to make it up to you I'd like to give you a list of music that'll change your holidays fo' sho. 

1. Black skinhead - Kanye West remixed by Flying Lotus
2. Collared Greens - Kendrick Lamar 
3. Pockets of Tuna - (Action Bronson)
4. Every Evening - 2AM Club
5. Lucifer - XOV
6. Eyes Like Sky - Frank Ocean
7. Here Comes the Sun- YUNA (beginning is quite slow but stick it out it gets aahmazing) 
8. Safe and Sound - Capital Cities
9. Electric Feel - MGMT
10. Make it Home - Hoodie Allen (feat Kina Granis)

X Zo

When is it that you should force yourself to put your emotions to the side?
When is it that you have to realise that no matter how hard you try with someone, there will always be something you aren't doing right in their eyes?

For me personally, I am on a constant roller-coaster with the description above in the form of a person. 
Unfortunately, when I begin to care for someone, I hardly ever stop caring from them (a bitter-sweet curse). But luckily I have found a way over the years, of being able to put a halt to myself  getting hurt by them... yet this is only possible when I force myself to from that point onwards not to look in their direction or if I do, be nothing more than civil toward them and take away all the care I had before. (E.g- when they walk past me and I have the feeling they are talking badly about me, I am able to not even let the thought go in my mind, nevertheless upset me.) 

But, (since we're talking about actually having care for the person), what happens when they start being nice again? do you jump straight back to the opportunity because its something you want so badly or do you keep your wall up and protect yourself for the long-run. 

For me personally, I always choose the first one and from feeling in control I end up feeling vulnerable because yes, they are nice one second and I'm so happy blah blah blah but then the next, they gossip and yet again, make me feel small, hated and most annoyingly- misunderstood <-- which by the way is in my opinion the worst thing to be because its one thing to be called a bitch and know deep down that you do have the tendency to speak before you think etc but its another to be called something or thought of as something that you know you're not. And the worst thing is what can you do? because usually when people have a set opinion of you it is virtually impossible to alter it to show them who you really are and how you really feel, which (for lack of a better word) SUCKS.

In my opinion, in cases such as these it is better to build that wall up and not let it down until you're 100000% sure they actually do care about you rather than break it down and build it break it down and build it up etc etc all the time. 
- Sorry for the rant and bad writing but this is something I feel strongly about and want to express.

X Zo 

With this post, comes the recommendation (if you're someone who likes eating healthy, light food) to go to a restaurant at the very end of Bree Street (right next to Orphanage) called 'Sababa'. 

Its a kitchen deli which serves buffet-style healthy food including a variety of daily salads (my two favourite today were a strawberry salad with goat cheese and a cucumber salad with sesame seeds...) as well as mains such as roast lamb, grilled salmon, vegetable rice etc etc. Not to mention their INCREDIBLY desirable dessert table that they cleverly place right next to the door so that you can't help but notice a total of three times: when you walk in, when you wait for your food and when you leave... resulting in you obviously having to try something. It's run by an Israeli woman and its relaxed atmosphere serves for a perfect afternoon bite.

You get served inside by one of their waitresses/waitors as they dish you (your choice is between 4 salads or 3 salads, one main) and then you take your recyclable plate of deliciousness and go and sit either inside on the marble counters, outside (if hot) on the beautiful wooden tables and stools on at the back in their hidden seating area surrounded by beautiful flowers. 

I went there today for lunch and it was the best lunch and dessert I've had in a long time. I ate four of the most amazing salads followed by their homemade, natural greek-yogurt frozen-yogurt topped with toasted coconut seeds. (P.S- sorry for the crappy photos)

The best lunch date x

My elegancy in a photo

The frozen yogurt!

Mine and my boyfriend's lunch 

The mini chocolate croissants- I literally have no words for these works of art

Me, at Sababa 

The oh so natural apple-tart I couldn't help taking a photo of

The BEAUTIFUL dessert table I was telling you about X Zo

Do you know what is happening in my private life at the moment?

Just by looking at me, you wouldn't know if one of my relatives has just passed, my parents were on their last dime or going through a divorce, or if I was having a hard time with a significant person in my life. Nor could you necessarily tell if I was battling an addiction or eating disorder or had just been diagnosed with a fatal condition.

Most of us usually keep these problems private for as long as they can contain it (apart from a very close friend/family member) and so no one knows that we are struggling.

So, picture this: I've been struggling with one of the above in my life over the past weeks. I've kept to myself and flashed my coverup smile but as soon as I step back into my private realm, the issue keeps occurring, driving me to the edge of my considerable tolerance at the slightest provocation which reloads all the issues in a flash. In this frame of mind, when someone flippantly addresses or dismisses the issue, or worse still, comments or gossips about it without being constructive, this is fuel to the fire. What if that comment right there, that superfluous comment… was the casual nudge that drove someone over the edge and brought about a reaction for which you are partly responsible? Yes, responsible. Because as social beings in intimate circles like family, school, circle of friends or work, or even on a larger scale as citizens of this country, what we say and do causes ripples in the lives of everyone with whom we interact. I'm not going esoteric on you with the notion that we are one, but while the whole may be greater than the sum of its parts, we still figure in the sum. 

It's also easier not to worry about whether nasty comments will get back to people by simply not putting them out there. My mom gave me a hard time about gossip since I was six and she overheard me talking with a friend about a third person, but it's only as I matured that I understood she was trying to protect me and not the person I was talking about. And I definitely buy into the fact that what you say about others says a lot about you. Purely silly gossip may just indicate that you are 1) bored 2) immature 3) insecure 4) bitchy 5) have nothing interesting to say. But when you emit opinions and judgements that seem to make a claim to your insight, intelligence or knowledge of the situation, think carefully. Check out this link on the subject: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/08/100802165441.htm

And finally, when speaking about a friend to another friend in confidence, ask yourself if you'd be happy for the absent subject of the conversation to overhear the conversation. There's a saying by a philosopher called Pascal: “Few friendships would survive if each one knew what his friend says of him behind his back”

I guess what I'm getting at is that you don’t' always know what's going on behind your peers'/enemies' closed doors. So unless the comment is constructive and comes with good intent, or the person deserves a fair and criticism because of something horrible they did, remember that unfair comments, lies, undue criticisms almost always grow long legs and walk right back to haunt you.

X Zo