Judgement.
As soon as we have our first encounter with someone, our first impression of them usually brings judgement. We judge them on physical appearance and the no more than 20 odd words that they say to you. And its not as if you can so easily prevent yourself from doing it, the sad thing is that usually it just comes naturally.
I personally feel judged daily, in so many different ways- some big, some small, some that make me nervous, some that make me hurt. Today for instance, I had an oral to do- I'm usually a very talkative person and public speaking is something I'm reasonably good at.. but today, because of JUDGEMENT that I felt was being laid on me, I was not a talkative person and public speaking was not something I was good at. Its strange how judgement can so easily be felt, when I'm being judged, I feel that its like a cloud of fast-moving darkness is surrounding you that causes your body to shake and your words to mumble.
Sometimes one tries to protect themselves from judgement... by being a wallflower and putting up a front so that judgement can stay far away from them. One protects themselves constantly from all kinds of judgement... not answering a question when there is a possibility your answer may be wrong, not wearing a bikini near a friend who may be thinner, not laughing at the joke made by someone you're "not supposed to like", not giving your opinion about something in case someone has the opposite view, not wearing clothing you feel true to your own style for fear of being thought of as weird.
Although, (at least I feel) that if I were to go to a country miles away where I knew no one and no one had any impressions on me yet I WOULD answer every question even if the answer may be wrong, I WOULD wear a bikini in a land of swimsuit models, I WOULD laugh at all jokes I found funny, I WOULD give my opinion and be ready and thrilled to have a discussion with the opposition, I WOULD only wear clothing that I loved. I wouldn't let myself be a wallflower.
How sad is that? because how often do we venture to different countries where we don't know anyone? We spend our daily lives in the place where we are afraid to do all of the above... and for what?
Its almost impossible not to care about being judged but its worth a try... I'm trying it right now (so I'll let you know how it goes) but I can tell you that 2 minutes into my oral this morning, when I stopped for a second and thought to myself "Do their opinions about me really matter", the speed of my talking increased and so did my confidence. I blocked it out and focused on what was important.
Life really is bloody short and think of it this way-
They are 24 hours in a day, we live about 15 of those hours.
150,000 people die all around the world, EVERY DAY and sadly, there is chance every second of it (or something else of great tragedy) happening to us.
So worrying about how other superfluous individuals see you and whether or not they are judging you, is not of importance and is simply a waste of a lovely day.
X Zo
As soon as we have our first encounter with someone, our first impression of them usually brings judgement. We judge them on physical appearance and the no more than 20 odd words that they say to you. And its not as if you can so easily prevent yourself from doing it, the sad thing is that usually it just comes naturally.
I personally feel judged daily, in so many different ways- some big, some small, some that make me nervous, some that make me hurt. Today for instance, I had an oral to do- I'm usually a very talkative person and public speaking is something I'm reasonably good at.. but today, because of JUDGEMENT that I felt was being laid on me, I was not a talkative person and public speaking was not something I was good at. Its strange how judgement can so easily be felt, when I'm being judged, I feel that its like a cloud of fast-moving darkness is surrounding you that causes your body to shake and your words to mumble.
Sometimes one tries to protect themselves from judgement... by being a wallflower and putting up a front so that judgement can stay far away from them. One protects themselves constantly from all kinds of judgement... not answering a question when there is a possibility your answer may be wrong, not wearing a bikini near a friend who may be thinner, not laughing at the joke made by someone you're "not supposed to like", not giving your opinion about something in case someone has the opposite view, not wearing clothing you feel true to your own style for fear of being thought of as weird.
Although, (at least I feel) that if I were to go to a country miles away where I knew no one and no one had any impressions on me yet I WOULD answer every question even if the answer may be wrong, I WOULD wear a bikini in a land of swimsuit models, I WOULD laugh at all jokes I found funny, I WOULD give my opinion and be ready and thrilled to have a discussion with the opposition, I WOULD only wear clothing that I loved. I wouldn't let myself be a wallflower.
How sad is that? because how often do we venture to different countries where we don't know anyone? We spend our daily lives in the place where we are afraid to do all of the above... and for what?
Its almost impossible not to care about being judged but its worth a try... I'm trying it right now (so I'll let you know how it goes) but I can tell you that 2 minutes into my oral this morning, when I stopped for a second and thought to myself "Do their opinions about me really matter", the speed of my talking increased and so did my confidence. I blocked it out and focused on what was important.
Life really is bloody short and think of it this way-
They are 24 hours in a day, we live about 15 of those hours.
150,000 people die all around the world, EVERY DAY and sadly, there is chance every second of it (or something else of great tragedy) happening to us.
So worrying about how other superfluous individuals see you and whether or not they are judging you, is not of importance and is simply a waste of a lovely day.
X Zo
WOW ZO <3
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