When is it that you should force yourself to put your emotions to the side?
When is it that you have to realise that no matter how hard you try with someone, there will always be something you aren't doing right in their eyes?

For me personally, I am on a constant roller-coaster with the description above in the form of a person. 
Unfortunately, when I begin to care for someone, I hardly ever stop caring from them (a bitter-sweet curse). But luckily I have found a way over the years, of being able to put a halt to myself  getting hurt by them... yet this is only possible when I force myself to from that point onwards not to look in their direction or if I do, be nothing more than civil toward them and take away all the care I had before. (E.g- when they walk past me and I have the feeling they are talking badly about me, I am able to not even let the thought go in my mind, nevertheless upset me.) 

But, (since we're talking about actually having care for the person), what happens when they start being nice again? do you jump straight back to the opportunity because its something you want so badly or do you keep your wall up and protect yourself for the long-run. 

For me personally, I always choose the first one and from feeling in control I end up feeling vulnerable because yes, they are nice one second and I'm so happy blah blah blah but then the next, they gossip and yet again, make me feel small, hated and most annoyingly- misunderstood <-- which by the way is in my opinion the worst thing to be because its one thing to be called a bitch and know deep down that you do have the tendency to speak before you think etc but its another to be called something or thought of as something that you know you're not. And the worst thing is what can you do? because usually when people have a set opinion of you it is virtually impossible to alter it to show them who you really are and how you really feel, which (for lack of a better word) SUCKS.

In my opinion, in cases such as these it is better to build that wall up and not let it down until you're 100000% sure they actually do care about you rather than break it down and build it break it down and build it up etc etc all the time. 
- Sorry for the rant and bad writing but this is something I feel strongly about and want to express.

X Zo 

With this post, comes the recommendation (if you're someone who likes eating healthy, light food) to go to a restaurant at the very end of Bree Street (right next to Orphanage) called 'Sababa'. 

Its a kitchen deli which serves buffet-style healthy food including a variety of daily salads (my two favourite today were a strawberry salad with goat cheese and a cucumber salad with sesame seeds...) as well as mains such as roast lamb, grilled salmon, vegetable rice etc etc. Not to mention their INCREDIBLY desirable dessert table that they cleverly place right next to the door so that you can't help but notice a total of three times: when you walk in, when you wait for your food and when you leave... resulting in you obviously having to try something. It's run by an Israeli woman and its relaxed atmosphere serves for a perfect afternoon bite.

You get served inside by one of their waitresses/waitors as they dish you (your choice is between 4 salads or 3 salads, one main) and then you take your recyclable plate of deliciousness and go and sit either inside on the marble counters, outside (if hot) on the beautiful wooden tables and stools on at the back in their hidden seating area surrounded by beautiful flowers. 

I went there today for lunch and it was the best lunch and dessert I've had in a long time. I ate four of the most amazing salads followed by their homemade, natural greek-yogurt frozen-yogurt topped with toasted coconut seeds. (P.S- sorry for the crappy photos)

The best lunch date x

My elegancy in a photo

The frozen yogurt!

Mine and my boyfriend's lunch 

The mini chocolate croissants- I literally have no words for these works of art

Me, at Sababa 

The oh so natural apple-tart I couldn't help taking a photo of

The BEAUTIFUL dessert table I was telling you about X Zo

Do you know what is happening in my private life at the moment?

Just by looking at me, you wouldn't know if one of my relatives has just passed, my parents were on their last dime or going through a divorce, or if I was having a hard time with a significant person in my life. Nor could you necessarily tell if I was battling an addiction or eating disorder or had just been diagnosed with a fatal condition.

Most of us usually keep these problems private for as long as they can contain it (apart from a very close friend/family member) and so no one knows that we are struggling.

So, picture this: I've been struggling with one of the above in my life over the past weeks. I've kept to myself and flashed my coverup smile but as soon as I step back into my private realm, the issue keeps occurring, driving me to the edge of my considerable tolerance at the slightest provocation which reloads all the issues in a flash. In this frame of mind, when someone flippantly addresses or dismisses the issue, or worse still, comments or gossips about it without being constructive, this is fuel to the fire. What if that comment right there, that superfluous comment… was the casual nudge that drove someone over the edge and brought about a reaction for which you are partly responsible? Yes, responsible. Because as social beings in intimate circles like family, school, circle of friends or work, or even on a larger scale as citizens of this country, what we say and do causes ripples in the lives of everyone with whom we interact. I'm not going esoteric on you with the notion that we are one, but while the whole may be greater than the sum of its parts, we still figure in the sum. 

It's also easier not to worry about whether nasty comments will get back to people by simply not putting them out there. My mom gave me a hard time about gossip since I was six and she overheard me talking with a friend about a third person, but it's only as I matured that I understood she was trying to protect me and not the person I was talking about. And I definitely buy into the fact that what you say about others says a lot about you. Purely silly gossip may just indicate that you are 1) bored 2) immature 3) insecure 4) bitchy 5) have nothing interesting to say. But when you emit opinions and judgements that seem to make a claim to your insight, intelligence or knowledge of the situation, think carefully. Check out this link on the subject: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/08/100802165441.htm

And finally, when speaking about a friend to another friend in confidence, ask yourself if you'd be happy for the absent subject of the conversation to overhear the conversation. There's a saying by a philosopher called Pascal: “Few friendships would survive if each one knew what his friend says of him behind his back”

I guess what I'm getting at is that you don’t' always know what's going on behind your peers'/enemies' closed doors. So unless the comment is constructive and comes with good intent, or the person deserves a fair and criticism because of something horrible they did, remember that unfair comments, lies, undue criticisms almost always grow long legs and walk right back to haunt you.

X Zo

I write this whilst listening to a song by the artist I'm about to dedicate this post to: my fingers are dancing on the keyboard, I have a permanent smile on my face and my hips are shaking under my sheets. 

Whilst at RTD, two friends of mine started playing a song by a beyond incredible German artist- 'Milky Chance'. 
He hasn't really hit SA yet but has recently become quite the hit all across Europe with his alternative tunes that have an easy-going and happy rhythm, putting you in an immediate good mood. His lyrics are amazing with the base being his powerful guitar-playing topped off with other complimentary instruments while STILL managing to create clean, simple tracks. 

I've just finished downloading all his songs from his album 'Sadnecessary' and they have been repeat ever since. I recommend starting your definitely soon-to-be obsession with listening to 'Stolen Dance' and 'Down By the River'- my two current favourites. 

Please go listen and spread this phenomenal artist's talent.

https://soundcloud.com/filou-music/milky-chance-stolen-dance

Is Sharing Really Caring?

I'm sure you know what I did this past weekend.

Why?

Because I told you.

And this goes both ways- I know everything about what's been happening in your life: I know that you had a fight with someone important because of the sad quote you posted on Twitter, I know that your mom made you spaghetti for dinner last night because you posted a photo on Instagram and that it was #yummy, I also know that your friend wants to make plans with you because she misses you and that you're going to do something this weekend at the Waterfront... lastly I know that for 9 minutes and 52 seconds, you've been at Mugg n' Bean in Claremont drinking your absolute favourite- a cappuccino. 

For my generation, this lack of privacy is 'normal'. Our identity was forged in the most broadly public society in recorded history and it thrives on consuming vast amounts of private information about other people, as well as sharing our own. Things almost don't feel real any more until they are virtual…beautiful moments, views, holidays. I do believe however that we should take a moment and a step back to think about how much we really are disclosing and whether or not we are really okay with it. 

I certainly don't blame the sites themselves... I mean, apart from their smart and persuasive 'Join Now' advertisements, they don't coerce us; we choose to sign up and we certainly choose what we share with our 'friends'. 

If I compare these choices to those of our parents- in almost every case it's different. Why? Because this obsession with sharing our every move is is a relatively new phenomenon. They are used to cultivating a slight bit of mystery in their lives and don't understand why we don't feel weird sharing what we're doing, what we're going to be doing, who we're with, what we're eating, where we are, what we're feeling, what we're thinking etc etc etc. It would make them feel exposed and vulnerable. Not that they weren't interested in these facts about other people but they picked it off the grapevine. Does this mean we have less gossip because we preempt it by putting the information out there? Is everything we say we do, are all the photos we post a true reflection of reality? Do you ever look at a post and think 'who the hell cares what you had for dinner'? And all the love, the compliments, the likes and kisses…are they real?  

I don't exactly know my opinion about the above topic but I do think that a little bit of occasional privacy/mystery would serve me (and others) well… and next time I'm in the sharing mood, I'll try and remember to leave something to the imagination.

X Zo

I hope everybody who went to RTD 2013 had a great time!

I arrived home today looking like a tomatoe with Rudolph for a boyfriend but nevertheless I had a wonderful weekend; it was so nice to go and escape reality and everything that lies in store for me work wise even if for a mere three days. 

I had a very different experience than I did last year as last year I lived for the nights and this year I seemed to really enjoy the days relaxing, talking and listening to music in the sun.I went up with a tight-knit group of friends and loved the quality time spent with them. 

As for the music- I unfortunately didn't get to go to as many acts as I wanted to but I LOVED the music and general vibe at the electro tent late at night as well as the general vibe there as well as the bands constantly performing at the main stage but I must say (despite hearing many bad reports) Alt-J blew my mind; I loved the chilled manner in which they performed and how as a result the crowd were so relaxed as a body. 

All in all I loved every second and am counting down till next year. 

Here are a few captures which may help explain why I'm still smiling remembering my weekend:

Good luck to all starting their weeks tomorrow. 

X Zo